My Parenting Mishaps

Here’s an excerpt from “A Cup of Tea on the Commode: My Multi-Tasking Adventures of Caring for Mom and How I Survived to Tell the Tale” exposing just a few of my parenting mishaps. Enjoy at my expense.

If You Rebuild It, They Will Return

Mom: I’m sad.
Me: How can you be sad? You have your health and a house that’s getting more and more beautiful each day.
Mom: Who’s paying for all that?
Me: You are. So, cheer up. You may have to go back to work.

…After completing final touches, I first carried Mom down to the basement to see what all that fuss was about. I’m not sure how much of the old basement she remembered, but she loved the new one. We marked the event with a photo of her sitting on the new coffee-colored couch with a mini keg of Newcastle Brown Ale on her lap. I snapped another photo with her on a treadmill in the new man cave. She seemed happy to be back on her feet and exercising, but her extended middle finger squeezing the safety rail suggested otherwise.

I then carried her upstairs to christen the new bathroom with a bubble bath—her first in years. But a near tragedy cut the celebration short when she passed out in the tub.

Great. I try to do a nice thing and I kill my mother, I thought. At least she smelled good.

I dried her off, put her to bed, and called a nurse. She said leaving Mom in the hot bath for too long caused her blood pressure to drop, which caused her to faint. I kept watch over her until she woke up half an hour later. Mom didn’t remember passing out, but she did remember the new bathroom, so it was a win-win for me. However, there would be no more bubble baths.

My two-year project was nearly complete. Only the first-floor bathroom remained, but due to unforeseen circumstances that would have to wait. Our home was once again a warm and welcoming place for everyone to enjoy, just like the one I grew up in.

If you rebuild it, they will return, and return they did. Friends and family visited more often. And once again we celebrated Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, and birthday dinners, which all took on new meaning.

To learn more about the book, click here.

Click here to get your own “A Cup of Tea on the Commode.” You’ll laugh out loud. You’ll cry out loud. Sorry for the crying part. Ebook is just $6.99.

#Humor #Memoir #eldercare #acupofteaonthecommode


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Published by Mark Steven Porro

The parent/child role reversal might not have been unique to me, but how I dealt with it was. "A Cup of Tea on the Commode" chronicles my multi-tasking adventures, filling my mother’s last years with love, laughter, and joy. Though not always successful, I came pretty damn close.

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